For best results use Monkey Spanker when you're turned on. Monkey Spanker is designed to be used on a nice stiff dick. Best ways we know to get one of these is as follows:
1. Watch some porn - always guaranteed to get your dick as stiff as a crow bar. Lube up the spanker, turn on the vibratior and spank for England (or whichever country you're from).
2. Pull out your favourite adult mag. Looking at all those hot asses will have you harder than a Hungarian bare knuckle fighter in no time. Repeat as above.
3. Get your partner in on the job. Nothing like your partner to get you ripping through the front of your trousers as soon as they say....well..anything as long as they haven't got any clothes on. Then lie back and leave the spanking to them.
4. Gentle Spanking - Ease the central silicone pad over the head of your cock. Best positioned just under your head - at the top of your shaft; making small movements in that area will build into an intense orgasm in no time.
5. Handy bonus usage - Spanking away that morning glory so you'll be able to piss straight and put your trousers on without having to wait an hour before you can leave the house.
6. Tip - Use plenty of lube to get the maximum effect.